i feel like writing

but dont

And Breeeaaath

What a long breath that was. Right, I’m back. Enough of this procrastination and let’s get down to verbal business. So verbal it’s insane, so commercial it hits FTSE 100 charts.

Lol

I am too funny. Oh yes I am. Time to straighten my ring, la7dhah shwayya..

Done. After losing 3.73 stones in 7 months my ring has become too loose. So loose it’s sometimes 110 degrees off. And so I moved it to my middle finger for better stability, but the other day Sh Assim ul Hakeem was staring at it (hardly surprising being THE ring it is) and advised me that it’s haraam to wear it on the middle. So I moved it back to the original finger – the one next to the pinky (right hand).

Oh my it just hit. Perhaps that why I’m back to blogging? The energy created by the ring connecting to the original finger emitting galactic synaptic responses pushing that Sussist button within my brain (under the chap hat) to bring a Sussist back to blogging

Wow..

Really

Really, I should get back to blogging

Let me take a deeeeep breath

Roar

Oh my Beasts

The Cave

Hi

Im back again. Back to a cave within my mind. A cave with mirrors. Mirrors so powerful, they generate light. Light so unique that it touches darkness and leaves it intact.

Light so uncertain, so baffling, so hypocritical at times. So difficult to read, so difficult to see. But it’s light it shouldn’t be difficult to see. “Light”. Unreal, false, far, unnatural. Deceiving.

So I find these mirrors uncomfortable for they emit an uncertain light, I wish to leave the cave but I am prevented. Prevented by ego.

Ego so cruel, ego so stealth, ego so destroying, ego so treacherous.

So I punch ego in the face and the light turns off.

It becomes cold, dark, wet and scary. There’s no energy flow, there’s no ambition, there’s no drive, there’s no sound, there’s no life.

Except for the sound of a hissing snake.

So I find a hole in the ground and fall through it. I come to an Oasis surrounded by curtains. Curtains so red, as red as a rose. I want to touch. I touch and it ignites. The curtains burn and the Oasis dries up. I stand in the dried up Oasis and look towards the red sky. I see stars.

Stars so bright, so far, so magnificent. I aspire.

My feet become wet as the Oasis begins to fill up with water. I run to the banks before I drown. But I’m too late, I drown.

So uncertain.

Journey to The South-West

From Bridgwater to Plymouth to Honiton to Exeter to Penzance to Barnstaple, Devon.

A 2 month working trek. I stayed by the sea, I stayed in the city, and I stay in luscious green fields out in the sticks by the cows.

I thoroughly enjoyed my experience of the southwest. Being back in the city has made me appreciate how much I actually enjoy rural and coastal England. The life is peaceful. I could see myself leaving the city to recuperate in the south west.

The people were ever so pleasant. I did fall in love. A few tried to convince me to move down.

Anyway

I dreamt of becoming a star. But that dream is fading.

I am in Ramadan, but I’m not quite with it.

I don’t feel like I’m present, I feel absent.

I don’t know what the near future holds in store but I hope it’s good.

We are made of clay. Moulding yourself into something different from the mould machine you’re currently attached to is never going to be easy.

I feel strange. There’s a strange hijacking of my senses. Perhaps it’s good to sleep now.

Under The Weather

I feel a bit under the weather today. I pray that Allah my Lord restores me to full health by tomorrow.

Being under the weather means that daily targets are put on hold. And I don’t like putting targets on hold.

Feels like the train I’ve boarded has broken down and all we can do is pray, hope and wait till the engineers firstly get to us and repair the problem.

But, this is Allah’s will. Perhaps I have avoided a massive collision by me breaking down. And so we are happy and content, and not angry

Surah Yusuf

Salaamun ‘alaykum

Wowee. A long time. Muddah 6aweelah as they say.

Hosni has fallen. Wowee. Allahu Akbar. The earth belongs to Allah. He inherits it to whom he wills. The Owner of sovereignty. He gives it to whom He wills and takes it away from whom He wills.

How amazing is the decree of the Most High? His planning is Magnificent. He caused the Pharaoh to fall, and inherited the land from it’s east to west to those that were weak in the land.

At the end of the day, there is no difference between the oppressed and the oppressor in flesh, bones and blood. The difference is in authority and power, both of which are god given. Both of which can be taken away in a blink of an eye.

I wasn’t even supposed to write about this. I think I was gonna write about my beautiful weekend away studying yusuf a.s

Oh well!

Stage to Stage

Is it not amazing how we travel from stage to stage in life, and we rarely look back to see how far we’ve come?

We enter new stages in life nervous and anxious, not knowing what this new stage holds in store for us. Why should we be nervous and anxious when everything that was going to happen has already been written anyway and we’re just reading what has been written.

No matter what happens in your life, good or bad, it should be embraced without it taking a strong hold of your negative emotions. One rule to Allah’s Book of decree, is that after difficulty comes ease. So can we be optimistic and look forward to reading the next chapter? Even if the current chapter is seventy thousand pages long. Why are we so hasty?

On friday I prayed janazah over my father’s cousin, this morning my cousin had a baby girl, this evening my 2 year old nephew got admitted to hospital after having 2 fits, and on the same evening my brother flew out of the nest to start a new life with his family.

“So I swear by the afterglow of sunset; And by the night and whatever it gathers in its darkness; And by the moon when it is at the full, You shall certainly travel from stage to stage (in this life and in the Hereafter).

Escape

Life is a book full of chapters. Allah has given us some control of how this book is written. It’s your life and your story.

Imagine now you’re sitting in another world reading your story of hundreds of years ago. You read and you continue to read. And all you’re thinking is had I done this or that differently this chapter woulda been like this or that.

My message and reminder to you is to escape. Escape from the book that you are currently in semi control of. Let your physical body be within the book but let your mind escape from it and write it with fun, pleasure and hindsight.

Ever wished you could dream and control each and every aspect of the dream knowing that it’s just a dream but still remaining within that pseudo-realism so that it’s pleasurable to the senses? Taking all the risks and plunging to whatever because it’s just a temporary dream?

Well now is your chance. Because hundreds of years from now when you look back to now, this will be nothing more than a dream.

This is enlightenment. Beautiful enlightenment. After reading this post, your mind will already be centuries ahead looking back at you now whilst your body remains here looking at your screen.

Dear reader, congratulations if your mind has allowed you to escape. Many congratulations, because this is not an easy task. Only a certain calibre of mind allows this escape. To many of you this post will be nothing short of a string of jumbled characters.

But to those of you who have managed to escape, enjoy your new game.